i’m available. (a teacher’s writing, and my own rendition)

a few years ago i came upon a piece of writing titled ‘I’m Available’, by Camelia Elias.

i loved it. so much.

…and so began my infatuation with Camelia’s work (+ her zen wisdom, and really everything she does.) i’m not one to attach myself to teachers – QUITE the opposite. so the fact that i’m still devoted says a whole fucking lot.

anyway, the other day i was reading her piece again, and i got excited by the thought of using it as inspiration to write my own.

so i did:)

here it is.

enjoy
xo

~

i’m available

i’m available to the coyote sneaking fast across the hill, when my cat and i both see him and freeze in curiosity.

i’m available to the flickering candle, as it burns from red to black to white.

i’m available to the rhythms of the creaking floor, the pushy fan, and the humming kettle before it bursts into song.

i’m available to morning sunlight.

i’m available to the many colors splashed in paint across the walls, inviting me to boldness.

i’m available to dark coffee, steamy silence, and solitude.

i’m available to the shaker and the drum, which stir things up and bring me down into my own vibrating bones.

i’m available to moonlight.

i’m available to the soft pile of rocks gathered on my desk, as they tempt me over and over to look closer, wonder, and listen with my hands.

i’m available to good strong beer, whose tasty secrets make my insides tingle.

i’m available to being aroused in the dream time and awaking to my own orgasm.

i’m available to starlight.

i’m available to the cards, which help me see things clearly (for better or for worse).

i’m available to the muse, when she comes at the right moment.

i’m available to the urges that ask me to rebel, sometimes against my own intentions.

i’m available to not knowing.

i’m available to yelling obscenities at the wind when i’m working and dirt is blowing in my face -and later i’m available to coming into full high praise of its turbulent power.

i’m available to the still wisdom of trees.

i’m available to the drying herbs, and to the living plants shouldering the cold of winter.

i’m available to the sloping curves and lush vitality of my own animal body.

– sami

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