a bead doll necklace (and why my blog has a new name)

love this yard


i went home recently, to visit my mom and grandma. it’s the first time i’ve gone back since my grandpa died. (besides the funeral, which was so tender, and perfectly funeral-ish. it snowed all day. it was gloomy and cold, and achingly satisfying.)

since his passing, my mom’s been on a clear-the-house-of-all-unnecessary-items kick. so while i was there, i was assigned the task of sorting through all of my shit.

damn. i have a LOT of shit in that house.

(i think i’m such a zen/gypsy mofo, with no attachments to possessions. HA.HA.)

so basically, my week at home was one big sentimental stroll down memory lane. 

and i enjoyed the living piss out of it.

it’s so strange how certain things will trigger a feeling. maybe not a specific memory, but a sentiment. a body recognition.


bead doll on my grandpa's handkerchief
bead doll necklace, on my grandpa’s handkerchief


this necklace was like that. the moment i saw it was like, holy shit i remember this! but, why? where did it come from? when did i get it? how did it break?

so far no memories have come. just a clear and persistent, deep yet inexplicable love for it. 

i’m content to let it be an intriguing mystery. this little bead doll carries serious mojo, and i don’t know what it is. and that excites the crap out of me.

it’s also what prompted me to change my blog title.

(this isn’t out of nowhere – the old title was getting on my nerves. it was a bit too new-age woo sounding.)

i think there’s some deep, juicy ancestral work to be done in my life. i’ve felt like that for a long time, to be honest, but i’ve blown it off cuz it seemed so daunting and abstract. where would i even begin?  

now, as i look over at the sweet little altar i have for my grandpa, a connection with my ancestors is starting to seem more accessible. and that feels nice.

so that’s all for now.

i hope that the address change doesn’t mean you’ll stop receiving notifications/emails about new posts. if you’re still here following, could you please me know? i may have changed my blog name, but i don’t want to stop being friends :]

with lots of love,




4 thoughts on “a bead doll necklace (and why my blog has a new name)

  1. I got the email but I thought ‘who the heck is this? I didn’t sign up for it’. Then I checked and it was you 😉
    Glad you are ready for the excavation. It might be hard but I think you’ll be a whole lot clearer on what you want to create when it’s done.
    Love Pam


  2. Got it dear Sami and beautiful! Juicy, yes! Can’t waiters share more of this journey with you. Recently saw Judy Grahn!

    Love you dear soul sister! Pauline

    Sent from my iPhone



    1. oh good! thank you pauline ❤ that's so cool that you got to see judy! i wanted to go to her recent event but was out of town. i bet it was wonderful. love you so much sister!


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