i went home recently, to visit my mom and grandma. it’s the first time i’ve gone back since my grandpa died. (besides the funeral, which was so tender, and perfectly funeral-ish. it snowed all day. it was gloomy and cold, and achingly satisfying.)
since his passing, my mom’s been on a clear-the-house-of-all-unnecessary-items kick. so while i was there, i was assigned the task of sorting through all of my shit.
damn. i have a LOT of shit in that house.
(i think i’m such a zen/gypsy mofo, with no attachments to possessions. HA.HA.)
so basically, my week at home was one big sentimental stroll down memory lane.
and i enjoyed the living piss out of it.
it’s so strange how certain things will trigger a feeling. maybe not a specific memory, but a sentiment. a body recognition.
this necklace was like that. the moment i saw it was like, holy shit i remember this! but, why? where did it come from? when did i get it? how did it break?
so far no memories have come. just a clear and persistent, deep yet inexplicable love for it.
i’m content to let it be an intriguing mystery. this little bead doll carries serious mojo, and i don’t know what it is. and that excites the crap out of me.
it’s also what prompted me to change my blog title.
(this isn’t out of nowhere – the old title was getting on my nerves. it was a bit too new-age woo sounding.)
i think there’s some deep, juicy ancestral work to be done in my life. i’ve felt like that for a long time, to be honest, but i’ve blown it off cuz it seemed so daunting and abstract. where would i even begin?
now, as i look over at the sweet little altar i have for my grandpa, a connection with my ancestors is starting to seem more accessible. and that feels nice.
so that’s all for now.
i hope that the address change doesn’t mean you’ll stop receiving notifications/emails about new posts. if you’re still here following, could you please me know? i may have changed my blog name, but i don’t want to stop being friends :]
with lots of love,