bodhicitta and my shadow



after a string of particularly sad and frustrating days, i had a really beautiful experience.

i had just gone to a friend’s show, and i was standing outside under an awning to stay out of the rain. i had noticed this particular building on my previous walks that night (when i needed to escape the venue and be alone and walk the streets and smell the rain), because there were chalk drawings on the sidewalk all around it, about the necessity for affordable housing in the city. there was something really sweet and powerful about it to me.

so as i stood there talking to some friends, a woman walked down the street and saw us and called out “choo choo”. i caught her eye and made a gesture of a train conductor pulling the bell. she came over and started talking to us, telling us what “choo choo” means for her (about the bullshit going with the corruption of power in the world, and the need to rise up – and the fact that people ARE rising up.) anyway, it was a really awesome, spirited conversation, and i was totally with her in it. we were singing “choo choo” together and having a great laugh.

then, she told me that it was a really epic moment for her, because she used to live where that building stood (whose awning we were standing under.) it was a condo conversion site and she had been displaced. she said she hadn’t been able to look at the site for a long time without feeling anger, sadness, etc. but when she saw me standing there she felt hopeful. she couldn’t stop saying how epic it was and how thankful she felt to be able to look in that direction and feel hope again.

and the fact that she said that and felt that about stupid old me, it was like a huge gift from the universe. i felt every bit as grateful to her for having come over and engaged with me.

so maybe i’m not so shitty and horrible and all alone after all. beautiful, spontaneous, profound connections can happen at any moment, and with total strangers.

because of that experience (and things i’ve been learning from this awesome woman), i’ve been thinking a lot about Bodhicitta. i haven’t officially taken a bodhisattva vow or anything, but i think i’ve sorta been taking them in my heart for a very long time. i want everyone to be happy and free. it’s really as simple as that.

anyway, a friend shared this video with me the other day. (thank you marcia <3).  i really enjoyed it, so i wanted to share it with you. the very last thing she says is the real juice. (imho)




One thought on “bodhicitta and my shadow

  1. That was a beautiful experience under the awning!
    I remember in Tom Kenyon’s last workshop we all released ourselves from Boddhisatva vows made in this lifetime or previous lifetimes, because what the traditional ones say is that you will stay on the wheel of incarnation until ALL Beings are free, which, as he says, could be a helluva long time! So apparently in the Buddhist tradition young disciples often go into the vow under the guidance of an older teacher and don’t really know what they are getting into.
    When we did the release process 8 lamas or teachers came to release me from my vows!!! They were standing in line!
    So be careful not to say that bit 😉
    And yes, i’m getting off on my shadow too. It’s like ‘let’s rumble baby, no more hit and run shit from behind my back’.


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